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The Deceptive Poo Sucker

Ironic that it was Yamu who gave the septic man that name. It was he afterall who when I asked advice about our overflowing drainage tank from the kitchen sink told me not to get a septic company involved, but to clean it myself. And yet, when an enormous septic truck showed up later that day it was Yamu who had flagged him down on the road and sent him to Tierra de Sueños. And then it was Yamu who when hearing our reaction to the septic man coined him the Deceptive Poo Sucker.

As soon as the Deceptive Poo Sucker, otherwise known as Marcos, stepped onto the property he gave off the con-man vibe. You know, like he was having to gear himself up in the truck to play his part before he approached us. After he got done telling us how lucky we were that he happened to be passing by and that we should take advantage of the situation, he asked to see our septic tanks. I figured I’d show him the kitchen sink tank, the one to the reception house, which is 10 years old and the one to our house of about the same age. After looking at the kitchen sink tank he said he could take care of it, but was vague about the process. The reception house showed an almost full tank. That was the first time he said, “there’s no need to lie to you”. Our house showed the same result and inspired the same truth validating statement. He asked what time he should come the next day as it was already getting late. I said I wasn’t sure and that I was curious about the price.
“Oh, that I wouldn’t be able to say.”
“Well, just give me an idea.”
“What time should I come tomorrow?”
“I don’t know. How much will it cost?”
“There’s no way to know until tomorrow. Should I come early?”

At this point his con-man status was solidified in my mind and I was finding the exchange fairly amusing, but also a little troublesome as it appeared that we did require his services. We decided that he would come around 10am, after our guests would be out for the day and that we would agree upon a price then.

That night we went to Jungle Love, the wonderful restaurant down the road owned by Yamu and Papi. I told them how I felt about the walk through with Marcos. Papi then relayed their experience of getting their tank emptied twice their first year here, the second time being twice as expensive as the first and then not emptying it for the next three years. Apparently the septic guys drive around after long spells of rain, which we had had, and ask to see people’s septic tanks. The tanks fill and empty to some degree through the earth and so the unknowing suckers get their saturated tanks emptied by the Deceptive Poo Suckers. Back home I called our trusty gardner, Pedro who merits his own blog entry, and asked him to come check out our kitchen sink the next day. We unclogged the grease that was causing the overflow and it has been fine since. When Marcos showed up at 10am I met him on the road and told him the only thing that I could think of that would be quickly understood. “We checked our financial situation last night and we are broke, we’ll call you when we can afford it.” It seems that we have avoided one scam. Phew.

One Response to “The Deceptive Poo Sucker”

  1. Janet says:

    hey cousin, have jack and kelly arrived yet? i can’t wait for all of you to meet. it will be a wonderful gathering of fantastic people. love to you all. janet

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